In lieu of not making the Oni-Meeting this month I decided to write this rant-filled blog! The Convention Archetypes! In my years of attending and working conventions I’ve had the privledge and displeasure of meeting all sorts of people!  Some of these people have become my very good friends and a few my most loathsome eye sores.  But before I go any further let me make it clear that this is strictly an opinion piece.  I am no kind of authority to decide what personality traits make a type of person.  We’re just delving into the mind of Koji for a moment to poke fun at each other but mostly ourselves. The Elitist: I’m going to start with the most common of convention inhabitants which is the know-it-all talking, perfect cosplay wearing, message board trolling, round-about-question asking person in panels; who have no idea that they are probably the biggest nerds at the convention.  Most elitists believe that by expanding their knowledge about their hobby (anime, cosplay, whatever convention related activity) they have some how shed their nerdom and have become a professional.  Newsflash!  You have to be paid to even start becoming a professional and there’s an attitude and work ethic that you have to fall in to in order to be a true professional.  Regardless of being professional or not, you are still a nerd!!!  Dude you’re at a convention hanging out. The Fangirls: Loud, obnoxious, over sensitive and most of all, the nemesis of convention staff who deal with special guests.  Fangirls don’t care about time schedules unless they’re trying to make a panel or event that their favorite guest is running.  If they see their guest walking around they have to come and ask a million of the same questions that the guest has already answered in said event.  They don’t understand that glomping a guest is a bad thing.  They’re usually normal people and normal people prefer their space.  Violating that personal bubble is a no-no!  No fangirl!  Down!  Bad! The Fanboy: Shares most of the same traits of fangirls.  Fanboys are a tad more shy and get excited only when they get into closer proximity of their target special guest.  This is when the creepiness starts.  Out come the video cameras where they record the guest stars answering questions or fulfilling special requests.  They usually bring several things to be signed by the guest despite the fact that there are other people waiting in line behind them.  And more lining up to get their items signed as well.  Yes, very little thought about others and the impact of their selfishness on those around them are what Fanboys and Fangirls both share. The Why Kid: This is probably a very rare time where the Why Kid is out of the house without strict parental or adult supervision.  Taking advantage of this situation, the Why Kid decides that acting as crazy as possible in order to get attention is a cool thing.  When approached by convention staff to cease and desist whatever questionable or potentially dangerous activity they are conducting, the Why Kid will utter, “Why?” Or some other form verbal protest as if the Why Kid had no idea that they were in the wrong.  Where in fact the Why Kid knows full well that the Why Kid is being a total jackass.  This causes the convention to tighten up security around the convention and scrutinize the attendees more closely in order to maintain a positive safety posture which will make the undercover city official types (cops, fire marshals, judges, attornies, council members, etc…) happy and allow the convention to keep running.  The Why Kid is usually found after the convention and covered with a burlap sack while getting beaten by cut up water hoses. The Friend of a Friend: This is usually someone who knows someone else that is running something at the convention.  Not necessarily a special guest.  Maybe they’re friends of another convention owner/director who happen to be at the current convention.  Or they’re friend’s of an artist or dealer.  Maybe even someone on the staff.  They fall in closely with The Eltist because they have a sense of entitlement which is completely unwarranted since they’ve accomplished nothing for themselves other than knowing someone and provide nothing for the convention.  So next time I ask you for your badge and you blow me off we’re going to have problems.  Koji loves you! The B-Boys: For some reason they’re always at conventions with no badges and insist on “dancing” in convention space that’s used for foot traffic.  Look, you’re not even that great any way.  If you want to practice at least do it in earnest.  If you’re just showing off, a convention isn’t the place to do it.  Especially when you suck.  I mean you suck so much that you serve yourselves.  If you were choreagraphed by Nick Bass you would still suck because you think showing off your lack of skill at an anime convention makes you cool.  Sorry!  That just makes you a poser.  Wait!  Not sorry, that would be you. The ‘Experienced’ Staffer: “I’ve been doing this for X amount of years now!  I know what I’m doing!” — You’ve been doing it all wrong for how many years?  This isn’t rocket science but there are several things about running a convention that you may have overlooked but fail to realize.  Oh?  You don’t want to listen to me because I’m the new guy?  Yeah that’s professional!  Hey!  Let’s add a bunch of admin guys that have no real job description.  But they can fall into wherever they’re needed when they see fit.  Let’s forget about the structure of a staff and the task and purpose that comes with that structure.  I could name so many right now but then they’d just hang themselves because they can’t handle criticism. The Disgruntled Staffer: They usually think they know it all about running a convention and when their advise isn’t heeded they’re the first to say, “I told you so!” Get the Disgruntled and ‘Experienced’ Staffers together and you’ll come up with something we call ‘Con-Drama.’  This is when people who have to interact with one another don’t get along and everyone’s stuck between the three-day shit storm of the convention they’re going to inevitably create.  The Disgruntled Staffer will in fact be right about half the things they’re talking about, but this will only cover the obvious.  As the common Disgruntled Staffer’s field of vision only covers the immediate situation and not the implications of what their ‘solutions’ may have.  Just do what you’re told Disgruntled Staffer before we get out the hose! Wow this blog is long!  I still have more to go too!  But unfortunately I don’t want to make this too lengthy.  If you’d like to hear more on convention archetypes, swing by Oni-Con and find Koji.  I’ll be happy to go over them with you if I’m not busy (HAHAHAHAHA!).  So good luck with that! /Koji Loves You!

In lieu of not making the Oni-Meeting this month I decided to write this rant-filled blog!

The Convention Archetypes!

In my years of attending and working conventions I’ve had the privledge and displeasure of meeting all sorts of people!  Some of these people have become my very good friends and a few my most loathsome eye sores.  But before I go any further let me make it clear that this is strictly an opinion piece.  I am no kind of authority to decide what personality traits make a type of person.  We’re just delving into the mind of Koji for a moment to poke fun at each other but mostly ourselves.

The Elitist: I’m going to start with the most common of convention inhabitants which is the know-it-all talking, perfect cosplay wearing, message board trolling, round-about-question asking person in panels; who have no idea that they are probably the biggest nerds at the convention.  Most elitists believe that by expanding their knowledge about their hobby (anime, cosplay, whatever convention related activity) they have some how shed their nerdom and have become a professional.  Newsflash!  You have to be paid to even start becoming a professional and there’s an attitude and work ethic that you have to fall in to in order to be a true professional.  Regardless of being professional or not, you are still a nerd!!!  Dude you’re at a convention hanging out.

The Fangirls: Loud, obnoxious, over sensitive and most of all, the nemesis of convention staff who deal with special guests.  Fangirls don’t care about time schedules unless they’re trying to make a panel or event that their favorite guest is running.  If they see their guest walking around they have to come and ask a million of the same questions that the guest has already answered in said event.  They don’t understand that glomping a guest is a bad thing.  They’re usually normal people and normal people prefer their space.  Violating that personal bubble is a no-no!  No fangirl!  Down!  Bad!

The Fanboy: Shares most of the same traits of fangirls.  Fanboys are a tad more shy and get excited only when they get into closer proximity of their target special guest.  This is when the creepiness starts.  Out come the video cameras where they record the guest stars answering questions or fulfilling special requests.  They usually bring several things to be signed by the guest despite the fact that there are other people waiting in line behind them.  And more lining up to get their items signed as well.  Yes, very little thought about others and the impact of their selfishness on those around them are what Fanboys and Fangirls both share.

The Why Kid: This is probably a very rare time where the Why Kid is out of the house without strict parental or adult supervision.  Taking advantage of this situation, the Why Kid decides that acting as crazy as possible in order to get attention is a cool thing.  When approached by convention staff to cease and desist whatever questionable or potentially dangerous activity they are conducting, the Why Kid will utter, “Why?” Or some other form verbal protest as if the Why Kid had no idea that they were in the wrong.  Where in fact the Why Kid knows full well that the Why Kid is being a total jackass.  This causes the convention to tighten up security around the convention and scrutinize the attendees more closely in order to maintain a positive safety posture which will make the undercover city official types (cops, fire marshals, judges, attornies, council members, etc…) happy and allow the convention to keep running.  The Why Kid is usually found after the convention and covered with a burlap sack while getting beaten by cut up water hoses.

The Friend of a Friend: This is usually someone who knows someone else that is running something at the convention.  Not necessarily a special guest.  Maybe they’re friends of another convention owner/director who happen to be at the current convention.  Or they’re friend’s of an artist or dealer.  Maybe even someone on the staff.  They fall in closely with The Eltist because they have a sense of entitlement which is completely unwarranted since they’ve accomplished nothing for themselves other than knowing someone and provide nothing for the convention.  So next time I ask you for your badge and you blow me off we’re going to have problems.  Koji loves you!

The B-Boys: For some reason they’re always at conventions with no badges and insist on “dancing” in convention space that’s used for foot traffic.  Look, you’re not even that great any way.  If you want to practice at least do it in earnest.  If you’re just showing off, a convention isn’t the place to do it.  Especially when you suck.  I mean you suck so much that you serve yourselves.  If you were choreagraphed by Nick Bass you would still suck because you think showing off your lack of skill at an anime convention makes you cool.  Sorry!  That just makes you a poser.  Wait!  Not sorry, that would be you.

The ‘Experienced’ Staffer: “I’ve been doing this for X amount of years now!  I know what I’m doing!” — You’ve been doing it all wrong for how many years?  This isn’t rocket science but there are several things about running a convention that you may have overlooked but fail to realize.  Oh?  You don’t want to listen to me because I’m the new guy?  Yeah that’s professional!  Hey!  Let’s add a bunch of admin guys that have no real job description.  But they can fall into wherever they’re needed when they see fit.  Let’s forget about the structure of a staff and the task and purpose that comes with that structure.  I could name so many right now but then they’d just hang themselves because they can’t handle criticism.

The Disgruntled Staffer: They usually think they know it all about running a convention and when their advise isn’t heeded they’re the first to say, “I told you so!” Get the Disgruntled and ‘Experienced’ Staffers together and you’ll come up with something we call ‘Con-Drama.’  This is when people who have to interact with one another don’t get along and everyone’s stuck between the three-day shit storm of the convention they’re going to inevitably create.  The Disgruntled Staffer will in fact be right about half the things they’re talking about, but this will only cover the obvious.  As the common Disgruntled Staffer’s field of vision only covers the immediate situation and not the implications of what their ‘solutions’ may have.  Just do what you’re told Disgruntled Staffer before we get out the hose!

Wow this blog is long!  I still have more to go too!  But unfortunately I don’t want to make this too lengthy.  If you’d like to hear more on convention archetypes, swing by Oni-Con and find Koji.  I’ll be happy to go over them with you if I’m not busy (HAHAHAHAHA!).  So good luck with that!

/Koji Loves You!